I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Candid Conversation.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an action movie legend. Yet, in the midst of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several genuinely hilarious comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.

The Film and An Iconic Moment

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger portrays a tough police officer who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to catch a killer. Throughout the film's runtime, the procedural element functions as a loose framework for Schwarzenegger to share adorable scenes with children. Arguably the most famous involves a child named Joseph, who unprompted announces and declares the stoic star, “It's boys who have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” The Terminator responds dryly, “Thank you for that information.”

The boy behind the line was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role featured a notable part on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the pivotal role of the child who returns in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with several projects listed on his IMDb. Additionally, he frequently attends the con circuit. He recently discussed his recollections from the filming of the classic 35 years later.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I can't remember being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're snapshots. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would take me to auditions. Sometimes it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, as soon as I could read, that was some of the first material I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was pleasant, which arguably stands to reason. It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I knew he was a big action star because my family informed me, but I had not actually watched his movies. I knew the air around him — he was a big deal — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was merely entertaining and I only wanted to hang out with him when he had time. He was occupied, of course, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd tense up and we'd be dangling there. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was the hottest tech. This was the hottest tech out there, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also was given a authentic coach's whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your experience as being fun?

You know, it's interesting, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was proficient. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I could do it, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

The Line

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember how it happened? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word taboo meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it caused the crew to chuckle. I understood it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it originated, based on what I was told, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Some character lines were written into the script, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it was more of a collaboration, but they developed it during shooting and, presumably someone in charge came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Give me a moment, let me sleep on it" and took a day or two. She really wrestled with it. She said she had doubts, but she believed it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.